Phone Roast
"412 contacts, 9,000 screenshots and 6% battery. Get help."
Download shortcut⏱ No setup
Open this page in Safari on an iPhone. The file goes straight into Shortcuts.
What happens
They run it and a voice reads out a roast built from their own phone: how many contacts they have, how many photos and screenshots they’ve hoarded, and their battery level. It’s read-only and made for filming.
Setup
- Send them the link and say “trust me, run this”.
- When it asks for Contacts and Photos access, they tap Allow. It only counts. Nothing leaves the phone.
Undo
Nothing to undo. Delete the shortcut if they want it gone.